Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Getting To Know You #1 - Erik, The E Of EGG

Buzz has been buzzing about the return of one of the pioneers of the podcasting phenomenon. That pioneer? The EGG In The Morning Show. Known for their poor planning and random anecdotes, The boys (and occasional girls) of EGG have been lacing up their boots for another round of, what they affectionately call, mock radio for you.

In the wake of their earth shattering announcement of their imminent return to the interwebs, people have been chomping at the bit with hard hitting questions like, "What's a Gene Joner?", "What radio station are they on again?" and "Why are you calling me?"

Erik & his lovely bride!
We hit the streets to find out answers to your questions because we here, at the EGG In The Morning Blog Site, care. We have been following Erik, the E of EGG, around his hometown of Vancouver, WA for the better part of a week and we were finally able to finagle him into the trunk of our car. We questioned him for hours, demanding the answers you've been seeking. Here's what we were able to find out --

EGG In The Morning Blog: So, Erik. The fans of EGG need to know -- If we gave you an elephant, where would you hide it?

Erik: Hide it?! Heck, I would ride it! To work, to the opera, to the bathroom even. Although, if I rode an elephant to the bathroom, I would need to start planning ahead because I have a really bad habit of waiting until the last possible minute.

EITMB: Tell me about it. Peeing is such a chore. Alright, so tell me -- what are your favorite color of socks to wear?

E: You know, I went back and forth for years between black and white. Black or white, black or white, black or white. Finally, I came to the conclusion that the first thing I should do is get some pants.

EITMB: That's all well and good but do you wear boxers or briefs?

E: Both. At the same time. You can never be too careful.

EITMB: Erik, do you enjoy your celebrity status?

E: Gah, I was afraid this question was going to come up. My best guess is OHMIGAWD YES!! I can't tell you how many times I have been out at a mall or a sporting event and people have seen me, recognized me, immediately stopped eating whatever they had in their mouths and walked over to me, handing me what they have left saying, "Thank you for not killing me softly with your good looks." I would do anything for my fans.

EITMB: *hork-hup* Sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Speaking of food, where is your favorite place to eat?

E: Well, it really depends on how loud the food I'm eating is. Like, if I have a fresh bowl of corn flakes, my favorite place to eat is a library or a funeral service. But if we're just talking a bowl of Kraft Mac N' Cheese, I will eat anywhere the elephant drops me off.

EITMB: What is this? I don't even-- okay. Let's get back to something that's a little more prevalent on America's mind. If you were a biscuit, which would you be?

E: Doggie, hands down. I mean, our fans are like dogs. Soooooooo loyal. I want to be their reward when they remember to not go potty on the floor.

EITMB: You know, I think I've about had my fill. I'm gonna untie you now. Anything else you want to say before I let you go?

E: ROCK US, DUKAKIS!!

Just remember, you asked for that. I need to find me some liquors. Join us next time for a similarly silly session with the legend himself, Gene Joner! The second G of EGG!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Story Of EGG In The Morning

Once upon a time, in the magical kingdom of Vancouver, WA, there was a boy. His name was Gene. Gene had an awful big heart. He had love for many things in his heart. He loved ham radio, sci-fi, a delicious meal. Big heart. One day, Gene met a person. A lovely person by the name of [name deleted for legal reasons]. She was known throughout the kingdom of Vancouver as Nala. (*Author's Note: this may also be the name of Erik's pug but we will not say for sure)

Gene's awful big heart was taken by the fair maiden, um, Nala. He thought to himself, "What can I do to woo the fair maiden?" It struck him! The best of all of the ideas that have ever been had! However, he could not accomplish his goal on his strength alone.

Gene sent word to his friend, the laughable Lord Erik of Orchards. The message read thusly:

"Greetings, Solicitations and Tally Ho! Erik, it is I! Gene! I have news that is ever so good AND salacious. My awful big heart has been stolen. By a woman! Ah, but to woo the maiden, I am in need of you, in due accord. Please to be joining me on my quest to gain the heart of the fair Nala. A friend true & true ~ Gene"

"My land! Gene is in need of my services and I hope I am not too late! To the buggy, post haste!" cried Lord Erik.

"I am ever so glad to see you have arrived in good health, Lord Erik," Gene guffawed upon Lord Erik's arrival. "I have been struck by an idea that is the best of all the ideas that have ever had, to woo fair maid Nala!"

"Spare my heart, Gene! Tell me before my heart doth explode!" Lord Erik screamed.

"You see, I have deduced through much sleuthing that Nala has ever so far to go each day to earn a living. As you are undoubtedly aware, listening to the radio while traveling can be dreadfully bland and could bore Miss Nala, even to her death! Hence I have devised this; I shall make a radio show completely tailored to her!"

"Truly, such a thing cannot exist," wept Lord Erik.

"Why yes! It would contain fun bits and feel like a very real radio program, only focused solely on her! Traffic, weather, entertainment, sports- EVERYTHING!"

"Most amicable, Gene! Yet, I wonder, what is it to be called?"

"Woe is me! I had not considered this. But oh! Your name begins with an E, mine a G. Of course as we go along, we are sure to add guests. Guest starts with a G! Oh! What if we called it EGG In The Morning?! It is a play on a breakfast item and ought refer to the mock morning radio show of our devising. Yes! EGG In The Morning it is!"

"Bravo, Gene! Bravo!" said Lord Erik, hesitantly.

And so it was that Gene & Erik began the recording and production of EGG In The Morning, a mock morning radio show. As predicted, many guests would appear and the EGG family would grow! Joy was had by all!

[Author's Note: Okay, to recap -- Gene liked a girl, the long commute story was true. The idea to do a mock radio show just for her is also true. Broken down we have E(rik) G(uest) G(ene) = EGG. The first G was not always for Guest but became that later on. The first G was originally a guy named Garrett, which is another story for another day. Gene did not end up with the girl the show was originally made for, but he did happily end up with a girl that is about a billion times better. The other girl literally disappeared and, upon reappearing, was married. However, the show was so much fun, Gene & Erik continued the weekly podcast for over 90 episodes. It is to begin recording again in 2013. Now you know. And knowledge is power.]